Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Camping...New York Style

I'd like to go to New York in the spring...when there's no fear of snow. But rooms costs several hundred dollars a night. The rooms I like cost even more. So my plan is to camp out in Central Park. A little inconvenience won't bother me.

If I take a tent, a Coleman heater, and a good sleeping bag, I can save a lot of money. If I'm frugal this winter, I can buy one of those blow-up mattresses to sleep on.

I'll fly there, of course. Air fares aren't too expensive in the spring. I figure I can get all my camping supplies in one large suitcase, avoid extra baggage costs and put the few clothes I need in a back pack. A pair of jeans, drip dry tops, a nice pair of black slacks and black knit jacket in case I want to see a show. Walking shoes, of course.

I think Central Park is a good place to camp. Beautiful views, drinking water, rest rooms, nice people, police protection just in case a few dissidents rumble and for exercise, several walking trails. I won't cook out--there's a 'no grilling or campfires' rule in the city. Law biding camper, that's me. For just a few dollars, the street vendors will feed me well. The money I save on a hotel room will easily allow me one or two meals in a good restaurant if I need a change of pace from street food.

Oh, did I hear you say 'there's no camping in Central Park..not any park in New York City.' Oh really!

So those campers, I've seen on TV night after night over the last two months or more ...those are just figments of my imagination? Didn't they show row after row of tents, sleeping know, camping stuff?

Oh, you say they are protestors, not campers.

Okay, I think I get it. Some people can camp in the city. Some can't. If you have something to complain about, you can camp...pitch a tent, settle in and make yourself at home whether others want you or not. You beg for food, demand curb side service and don't even worry about waiting in line for a rest room. Just use a bush or squat by a tree. No problem.

It certainly is okay to camp/protest on public property, you say...we all own it, don't we? From what I've seen, you can be totally irresponsible on public property. I hear that if you scream loud enough, cry foul, soon city workers come and clean up after you...Was that your mess...or was it communal crap? No matter for me, I'll be a rather tidy camper.

The world is unfair, the big banks are out to get us, there's no fair share...well, okay, 'camp' in the city. You don't even have to claim you are homeless or indigent or unemployed. Good. So to be a city camper...well all I have to do is whine and complain. Got it!.

Then stake my tent on whatever piece of property I want. I can obstruct traffic, hinder business, spit on the police and cry foul play all night long. I don't have to close up shop, put out the lights or be kind to my fellow citizens. I just have to be obnoxious, disrespectful, disorderly, irresponsible or foolish. And, of course, I can defecate on the street...that seems to be the rite of passage...if you are a real camper.

So I'm going to camp in Central Park. Because----

I'm unhappy that unfair minded citizens can camp out, cause our city governments to spend huge amounts of money on their waste products, cause police officers to work extra hours and not be able to provide other services to law biding citizens. That's a start, isn't it? I'm also unhappy that streets are closed, traffic is stalled and law biding citizens are prevented access to public areas because of unsavory campers. I'm unhappy because if I watch TV I have to hear about a lot of sorry lots who have nothing better to do than act like fools. That makes me rather sad, disappointed and frustrated, too. I have a lot to complain about.

You say I don't have a legitimate complaint? Of course, I do. I say I do, therefore I do. And that's why I'm going camping in Central Park this spring.

Maybe I'll head out to Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, too. Oh, L.A. might be fun. I'll take any donations that come my way. I need help to get me where I want to go. Come on, hand out some money, give me, give me lots of money. You don't want to give me money? You're suppose to give me money. Aren't you?

If not, then I have another reason to camp in Central Park...I don't have enough of your money. That definitely is worth complaining about.

New York, here I come!

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